How to Talk to Children About Injustice in our Streets
I ask the children three questions, as we slowly unroll The Timeline of US History:
Whose land is it?
Who is working the land & the industry therein?
Who is benefitting most from that work?
We don't shy away from conversations about the fact that this country was founded by colonizers who stole all the land, both outright and through "peaceful negotiations" that were not honored or were rigged from the outset.
We don't shy away from conversations about how this country grew its wealth through slavery–so much so that it was able to fend off a global superpower at its outset.
Today, our children are exposed to so much secondary stress because ICE is occupying small sanctuary cities, including Minneapolis. Parents see the news and feel stress that is inevitably felt by their children.
We need to be able to have these conversations with our children, at age-appropriate levels, in ways that communicate their safety. Some children are experiencing this stress first-hand. Our children can certainly handle conversations. So, how do we do this?
According to Britt Hawthorne, Montessori teacher and New York Times Best Selling Author of How to Raise an Anti-Racist Child, there are six measures to take when having these difficult conversations with your child:
Regulate your own emotions. Hawthorne writes, "Children borrow calm from adults around them."
While we need to "name the harm clearly, use active language, and affirm human dignity" (including the humanity of each ICE & CBE officer), we do not need to give a lot of details.
Keep the conversation brief. Only a sentence or two will do. Children will ask questions if they need more information.0-6 year olds simply need to know they are safe;
6-9 year olds need a few sentences, relating who the victim was, what happened, how you are feeling, and that there are many helpers, who are working to keep them safe;
9-12 year olds need the information provided to the 6-9 year olds, plus a way that your family can be part of the solution, reinforcing self-care;
13 year olds and older need information about the murders; information about the patterns these murders follow; how the immigration system was born in the US; and how we can work as a family to learn about history and advocate for systemic change.
It is a privileged place to be, when our instinct is to shield our children from the news. So many children are part of the story.
In this case, it seems likely that our children will be exposed to the heart of the story, as ICE will likely build a detention center in the area surrounding Kansas City.
They need to know that their school has an action plan if ICE were to appear. There are legitimate reasons ICE would ask for some of our records. Our job as a school (to ICE) is to show that we are complying with the law. So, they may be on school property with a request to see our Public File. In that case, they are welcome. In any other case, they must have a Judicial Warrant to enter the buildings. In school, we will have discussions in Primary Class about what to do if teachers tell us to come inside. In Elementary, we will be giving lessons about Migration Patterns, with examples specific to Kansas City, and we will be answering questions, following the guidelines above.
As always, keep the lines of communication open between the teachers and yourselves. We are on your child's team!
If you would like more detailed information about how to talk about Renee Good, Alex Pretti, and others, please consider buying Britt Hawthorne's guide, When the World Feels on Fire: A Care-Based Guide for Talking to Children About Harm, Justice, and Dignity.